i can't be your superman

if you're trying to stay high, you're bound to stay loww...

2006-10-16T14:25:22Z

I love earlyy mornings... I can wake up at a normal hour, take a long relazing shower, do my hair and makeup, have some coffee, read, chill, have a cigarette, with plenty of time to get dressed and get to my first class. It's cutee. I can't wait to have afternoon classes next semester.

I'm writing a personal narrative for writing and I haven't decided what topic I wanna use... I feel like there's so many things that I've experienced that I could turn into a good paper. It's a toss-up between my drug use in high school and how it's affected my personality, relationships, academics, and my outlook on life, or my marching band experience. I'm gonna leave it up to my teacher to decide... but I think we all know what acid man is going to pick.

I like my new haircut =) It's so much easier. And it's cute. It's been a long time since I've had decent looking hair. I can't wait to dye it.

Tomorrow I'm starting my diet. I figure the 17th is a good date :) ... I just have to start eating better, considering the food here isn't exactly the best. Some of it is to dieee for though, not gonna lie. But shoving my face all day long, as much as I love it, is starting to catch up to me. I refuse to gain the freshman fifteen. I need sneakers to work out. && I need somewhere to toss my rifle around in this cold.

If it's this freezing in mid-octobah... I can't imagine the winter. I'm scurrrred. Even though the cold weather means my burberry and new uggs and leg warmers and peat coats and gloves. =p

So you only live once, and college is that last chance to be a kid and experience the world and have the best times of your life before you have to enter the real world... right? I'm with my friends the other day, and we're talking about Europe and vacations and all that stuff... Mac says he wants to go to Amsterdam next winter and room with someone for a month... most people would hear that and say 'ohh nicee' or something along those lines... but me being impulsive and in that whole college frame of mind... I decide to go with him!
An entire month in Amsterdam... a full apartment, 2 or 3 bedrooms, full kitchen and all that... smoking, of coursee. Less than 2,000 a piece. Considering I'll almost definitely be in Spain that fall semester, I won't even have to fly. Since my parents don't want me home winter break, they'll contribute to the Dana-being-an-ocean-away fund. Especially if that means my mom can come smoke weed in Amsterdam, she'll be all for it.This isn't one of those Canada-spring-break, or Titanic-coney-island schpeals. [sp?] ... We're looking into a few apartments already. This is going to happen. I can't waiiit! Anyone that wants a week in Europe with free rooming, with the coolest person ever, and has a few hundred for the plane ticket... come visit! With new people coming to stay each week, it'll be like a whole new vacation. A monthhhh in Amsterdam. It's gonna be incredible.

een.

twee.

drie.

vier.

Be jealous.

that's what she said!

2006-10-05T08:54:34Z

Update =)

Hope everyone is well <33 I feel like I know nothing about anyone these days, I'm totally out of the loop... and it's not like I don't care. I wish I could still be around for everyone. Some people back home are going through some really rough shit and it sucks that I can't be there to support them. It makes me feel all the more guilty for having such a good time here. I do care, tremendously. I don't love anyone less since I've left... if anything, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
I'm so corny.

My tooth situation is out of control, Jared's dad can't even do the root canal, I need a special surgeon here at Stony. So 3 weeks and a vicodin prescription later, I'm still in lots and lots of pain... but all I can do is wait, I guess. Putting off the root canal is a good thing, I suppose. I'm SO SO SO scareddd. =/ I hate dentists. Minus Dr. J-skin, of course. Loveee.

My roommate thing isn't being solved either, my RHD is the world's biggest lying sack of shit and I want to choke her. Or at least GET A NEW ROOM. Orrrr at least see my roommate get written up for illegal guests and chain smoking in the room and all those other rules she breaks while they know it's not me, who hasn't walked in there in a month. Ugh. I love it here in ghetto greelizzle, but I wish I had my own bed sometimes.

Tonight's not one of them. I have the room to myself now anyway, which is fun since it's so rare. Before my boys came here on their scavenger hunt for the "frisbee team" *cough*, shirts and ties and dress pants and all, searching for purple bras and bamboo sticks and cambodian breast milk and all that fun stuff. They're intense. I took one [off] for the team, lol, I love them and I'm crazy excited for 'em. This room is so much fun sometimes. Now I feel like the mommy again, waiting up for Joe, god knows what they're doing and I won't sleep until he's back.

The last few weeks have been such a roller coaster. Frat parties and late-night hospital runs, room pranks and football game parties, 'bear attacks' and pillow fights, beerpong and world of warcraft, nerf guns and kings, pirates and piggy back races, quitting smoking and extended fasting, brand new cover concerts and guitar hero shows, super smash tournaments and flipcup, with lots of drama thrown into the mix. I'm loving every minute of it, and everyone around me. Things could be better, but can't they always? For once, I have no complaints.

I got an email of riverdance photo orders today, and I started thinking about marching band and how much I miss them. Getting to visit is always a good time, but the real thrill of band is the bus rides and the night performances and the frostbite in the stands and the cowbell. I'll never get those moments back. I miss those kiddies so much, that experience meant the world to me. I hear there's drama, but what else is new. Appreciate it for what it is, especially you lovely seniors, because it's over in a few weeks and you'll never get it back. You know how awesome it can be! Just relax a little, have a better attitude, and give everyone else an open mind and a helping hand. Don't let the small things get to you, you're only ruining it for yourself.

Last weekend was SO good, justttt like old times. It's weird, I don't sit around consciously missing my friends, but every now and then a 9:17 on the clock or seeing chewy on the floor or a sweet&low packet or the smell of a vanilla dutch makes me wish, not that I was back in the past, but that I could share my happy new life with the people I used to spend every day with. It's nice to have those memories though, and life goes on, but then reuniting with them was all the more fun. Exchanging beer pong rules and drunk stories and observing everyone's new looks and all the while acting like nothing had ever changed. Granted it's only been a little more than a month, it's a huge change and a lot of miles and an insane adjustment. But going home I felt just as close to all my favorite people as I ever was, I hope it stays like that. Brian keeps saying that he's never coming back. I hope he rethinks that. I appreciate home, and you make the best of it, and it's a good thing.

So my tooth hurts but my uggs make up for it. My classes are annoying but at least I'm going to them. My friends are just cuties, they're all making me proud. Life is gooooood. As soon as the room situation is solved I'll let the world know... I CAN"T WAIT to have visitors!!! =))))

...jared's got siickkkk skills! hahaha, rofl. I walked into my room in the middle of the night to find that across my screen last week. My immediate response was soemthing along the lines of "OMGZ, MY COMPUTER'S BROKEN, OH NO, etc.... making it that much funnier when I actually read it. I DIED. Mind you, it's a real error message. One that continues to pop up, no matter how many times you press 'ok'. You can't even shut down the computer! Haha, it's awesome though, I wouldn't x it out if I could. Props. Good timesss :)

PS: I can't decide on a Hallowizzle costume... ideas?

shaniqua has weiiird taste in music....

2006-09-20T14:14:20Z

The Rules:
Step 1: Put your iPod/MP3 player or iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the a line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post it on your blog and let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Update the list with the song title when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Make your guesses by leaving a comment or sending me email. You have to identify both title and artist, and you're not allowed to Google any of these, either.

1. ~~coordinate brain and mounth, then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out... wish i knew...~~ [goose_lives ]

2. oh cinderella, they aren't sluts like you...

3. ~~i'm the realest that run it, i just happen to rap..~~ [pretty_in_pinkk ]

4. barbarisms by barbaras with pointed heels...

5. well she was my catatonic sex toy love-joy diver...

6. they target you with their eyes, and move with their lips, and it pulls you in...

7. ~~oh, my star is fading, and i see no chance of release...~~ [pretty_in_pinkk ]

8. seemed like a harmless little fuck, oh, but we unleashed a lion...

9. ~~i heard about the cool breeze and the cool nights and the cool guys that you spent them with...~~ [aj8915 ]

10. ~~the weather's getting better by the hour, i hope it rains there all the time...~~ [goose_lives ]

11. you better watch how you're talking and where you're walking, or you and your homies might be lined in chalk...

12. ecstasy is the worst drug in the world... if anyone ever offers it to you, don't do it...

13. ~~are you the now or never kind?~~ [pretty_in_pinkk ]

14. maybe when the walls are smaller there will be more space...

15. so let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late...

16. i'm so horny, that's okay, my will is good...

17. ~~just ask the question, come untie the knot...~~ [piccoloslvbacon ]

18. ~~i'm feelin' like a dog in heat...~~ [piccoloslvbacon ]

19. when routine bites hard and ambitions are low...

20. lift us up to the heavens for a bird's eye view...

I SENT YOU A FUCKING TEXT MESSAGE.

2006-09-16T07:03:36Z

YAY. I'm homeeeeeeee. I've never been so happy in my house. I missed it.

Soo... hello world! =D I don't feel as excommunicated from Oceanside now, which is a pleasant change. You know, I am a supercool college girl now...

Stony is the best thing that's ever happened to me besides Red Bull. My killa kella crew consists of the ten most awesome people ever, and I love them all to death already. Well half of us are living in Greelizzle, which I'm loving. My boys Jared and Joe, aka Forskin or J-dawg and Joe Dirt, are the best rommates ever... even if they let me sleep through my classes sometimes. There's nobody in the world I'd rather clean and do laundry for or wake up hungover with. Loving them for letting me move in. Hah. So we're either party animals or total bums and either way have the most fun in the world. There's Crunk and my Cloniee and Link, the hubby, my girls Mo and Jackie, aka Wino, 'Hey it's rob with the long tongue' aka Kissss, and Chris, you must not know who the fuckk he is.. he's the juggernaut bitch! We're soo close, we have enough inside jokes already to flood my el-jay for pages, and this half day without them is just insanity. It's amazing, I wanna stay there foreverrrrr.

The campus is beautiful and my classes are all pretty sickk. Frat parties overflowing with beer, cute boys at every turn that want nothing else in the world but to talk to you, decent food that's free, pranking rooms, marriage proposals at taco bell, constant fun. College is the best invention ever.

I haven't taken my own pictures yet 'cause my camera is a piece but Katie my love took a few and I have some phone pics...

foreskin is a rockstarrrr! & the coolest roomie. &&& my best friend ever, even though we said -3 words to one another in high school. go figure...

katie aka crunk is my favorite lesbian lover of them all and i adore her lotss! <3 ps: i look gross.

they sleep on the boring bed... soo jealous of the cumdumpster. hahaha.

ohh christopher. i mean... the juggernaut, bitch! he's ready to fuck! he's been ready to fuckk...

put on your myspace faces, everyone =D

mmmmmmmmmmm. they are fuckin' sexy.

that's link! no, not from zelda. awww my future husband <3 he's such a romancer.

230 bitches, best room everrrrr =D

kiss! if only you knew why we call him that.... aww, spanish buddies fo' lifee. <3

joe dirt wants to fuck a fattt chick! that loser sleeps in my bed...

...and wears my clothes. slutt.

jackiee, my favorite alchie ever. ID card losing buddies. mwahh.

maureen is a sexy motherfuckerrrr!

dorkss with their matching sb shirts. loveesss chillin on the pubes =p

missing them already! sexyyy beastss.

So I'm home until Sunday, motherfuckers! Pick upa phoneeee. Imma visit the band dorks at practice tomorrow, and I'll be around if anyone wants to say hiii. :) I am SO happy to be homeee.

Night world ♥

idi0t_gf @ 2006-08-15T07:10:00

2006-08-15T11:10:57Z

I've finally grown up a little and learned from it all and starting moving on. I found the sweetest, cutest, dorkiest, most sincere and crazy awesome kid ever. I'm smiling again. ...and now he's leaving after only a week and I feel even lonlier than before. Figures.

College sucks.

the time of the season when love runs highh...

2006-08-14T05:19:32Z

There's now less than 2 weeks before life as I know it changes forever. I am not at allllll ready. But on top of it all, some of my friends seem to think it's the perfect time to be complete assholes and ruin whatever memories I have left. Or, at the very least, most are just cranky and unenthusiastic about spending time with one another. Don't they understand? Nothing will everrr be the same, no matter how often we call or come home to visit. We're growing up and moving on and it's terrifying.

All that aside, the last week has been amazing. An awesome day in the city from harlem to central park and verything in between, the Dave [which was unbelievableee], making new cutiepie friends, going to the park everyday, crazy late nights with crazy cool people... some good memories before I leave. Last night was long and awesome and full of nip-tuck and bagels. Jessperry will always be my hero<3. No matter what happened this summer or what happens in the next few weeks, I'm going to miss everyone in my life insanely and I can't protect myself from it anymore.

I got my Stony roommates! whoo. I'm waiting to hear back from them, I hope we all get along! One of them left me a voicemail, she seems cool, and the other one has a myspace.. she looks pretty cool too. I think it'll work out, I'm not as worried anymore...

So yeah. My phone sucks... but at least I have one. I miss the mb crew and they better call me soon! I wanna see Liv already. I don't have enough pictures of my friends. All I'm really upset about is the whole college thing. Ugh.

Off to hang out with qt cornell boy. awwz.

Kpcee.

hello, i'm alive. :p

2006-07-24T07:40:37Z

The longer I ignore this thing, the longer I wait for some catastrophic, even apocalyptic event to occur, or to run away and elope with some italian exchange student heartthrob.. or even the hottie oceanside pool lifeguard.. so that when I finally write something, it's worth reading. But, no. There's still nothing interesting to write about. So I concede.

This summer hasn't been bad... not many trips to the beach or laps in my pool but I'm relaxing. I'm reading this rivetingggg book for stony about longitude.. really. It's even moreee interesting than it sounds. <3stony. Went all the way out there today with corey to get my email account.. for facebook. Surprise.. the library is closed on Sundays. At least we only wasted half a tank of gas and a precious day off from work. Oh, well. It's cute. I like seeing it. :)
After the failed trip we stopped at the mall for stonybrook shirts [matching ones for me&my mom, of course] for 8 cents a piece instead of 400 dollars. Yeahhcheap. Then we watched Animal House, which is awesome... but we didn't have the stamina to make it through the entire movie. Part 2 tomorrow. I wonder if befriending your recent ex-boyfriend while he runs around long island buying gifts for other girls and telling you about it while breaking plans with you and being dumb is healthy. Not that he shouldn't do what he wants.. but whether or not it's good.. because now he's becoming my friend, it's completely over and different and not weird... but by the end of the summer my new best friend leaves forever and I lose him all over again.

Camp is awesome, I'm absoultely in non-pedophilic, heterosexual, innocent LOVE with my cutiepie second graders. I have pictures from beauty day. Awwws. Plus, being with Mel errrrr day is teh best. Or, actually, Melissa now. ew. I'm having so much fun. Cares is good too, between the late-night-working parents and the incompetent counselors, those girls seem so... abandoned. It's almost sad... but I have fun with them. Anddddd I can recite the entirety of the High School Musical soundtrack now, even better. I love them. aww.

Umm. Life. Not being in high school is awesome. Prom/graduation were awesome. More pictures. Going to college, on the other hand... is not. Not even the academic part, the part where I live in a room with two strangers who could be any sort of dirty, crazy, klepto, homicidal, delinquint.. anything goes. It's terrifying. A dorm built by a man who designs prisons, a shower I have to wear shoes in, a washer machine that costs money where my clothes have the potential of being stolen or abused... while, at the same time, leaving everyone I love ever. I've been so excited and ready for it but it's completely hitting me.. This is the biggest change ever and I'm doing it all by myself. I miss everyone already. Meh.

Tiredddddness. Waking up has been difficult lately, I'm slowly getting more and more sick. Long weekend, too. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCHLUTERFACEE. Your sweet16 was illin'. <333333. Goodnight world. I promise I'll get back into lj. Especially with the sickk new laptoppp... whoo. Night♥

ps. GUARD. practice thursday?! That's the word on the streets... yes or no? 'cause I'm so there...

LOVES OF MY LIFE. my girlssss.

PROMMM. this is just a few random ones... i haven't uploaded most of them yet. slow.
hugeee prom pic update soon, i promise. so many pretty facesss <33

can't leave for preprom without a classic myspace picture...

hotties!

i'm tall.

mike and brian = cutest coupleee.

sexy ladiessss.

i got the prettiest one. =)

we're stoopid.

crazy limo.

i look SO fat. but my friends are cutee.

awww awkward-looking lobsters ♥

adventureland with my favorites. julia&jack. hehehe.

my friends being dumb...

camera whoring.

smile!

the end.

idi0t_gf @ 2006-06-04T17:20:00

2006-06-04T21:20:43Z

It's scary to know that, in the entire world, there isn't one person who truly cares about you, who misses you when they don't see you, who is sad when you're sad, who would do what they could to make you happy.
Everyone deserves that much.

poo.

2006-05-23T03:53:14Z

[ROFLCOPTER].
numero schfifty five. kayleen showed me that. loveeeeeeoceanside.

Why is it almost June ? Jesus.
13 days left.
:O !

[it looks better on me...]
yay[prom].

Soooo. Life.
More drama every day... for all the gossip I love spreading, all the incidents I love watching, all theatupidity I sit back and enjoy... it's better from the sidelines. Drama's stupid. Almost punched this bitch. Yeahh. Saturday was interesting.. never heard that word 'cops' screamed that many times in my life. At least we left and didn't have to deal with the po-po. :)

Life's been ... up and down. Last week was the worst, most unlucky week ever... from losing money to ruining clothes to breaking my cell phone to detentions in school to hurting myself to not getting my braces off to a million tiny things. It was the worst... and then suddenly the tides changed and I had the best weekend ever. It was so much more than the mood I was in and a few unfortunate coincidences... absolute ridiculous-ness.

School's almost over. Cor and I were having this quasi-deep talk for hours in the car the other night... about how we all say it's coming, but nobody truly realizes... and now next week is June. Prom and graduation are around the corner. Summer starts, we blink, and then summer's over. I love that I can come come every weekend, I love that I get to stay in touch with Corizzle and see him and not lose him forever. I love that everyone's close enough to be home for holidays. I love that I'm probably graduating in the first place. Things could be a lot worse... it's just such a big change.

&&&& shopping that day.
i took pictures!
eeeeee. love.

eeee adderall.

d0rk.

ken kaniff from connecticut.. automated piece of shit...

illhawk. i'm the besttttt.

nice hat.

grrrr!

heh. it alwaysss makes me smile.

i'll cut you.

tee hee <3

dressing rooms are SO myspace...

♥photoshop.

mah new shadesssss.

my gay boyfriendddd.

I love them.
and digital cameras.

MB SLEEPOVER THIS WEEKEND.
oh, i'm sooo excitedd.
<3333333

Bored. LordoftheRings, pedicure, & telephone time. Call? I still have a house phone.... :(

ps. Making Shaniqua [<3] a playlist of the best summer music... like minivan-beach-trips-cd music, beach-boys-music, any-song-about summer. The best beach music ever. Suggestions?

i am going to fart on you.

2006-04-27T03:38:59Z

perfectly failing
sleep is overrated
& as words march
across an empty screen
i s c r e a m
i'm scared that
it is gone tonight

My keyboard is at a gravity-defying angle right now, the keys are facing me instead of the ceiling. It's so cool. I have to type like this forever.

Spring break was fun, not at all disappointed. Hope everyone else had a good vacation! :) .... School... isn't too bad anymore. I actually think I might miss it, come graduation. Except today... I've had this obnoxious sickness taking me over. SO gross. I feel icky.

Everyone knows someone else going to their school, or people who will be nearby... I'm the only person I know who will be totally by myself. That scares me immensely... I think it would be a lot more bearable if I had at least one person I knew to keep me company and make me feel less alone. I dunno. Maybe a complete change is what I really need, maybe starting over 100% is actually what's best. Who knows.

This weekend is the parade. Half a block, a drill noboy knows, waking up too early for a Sunday, and obnoxious weather that's too cold for tank tops and too hot for turtlenecks... and yet, I'm still totally excited. <3 The UMass guard is ridiculous. Their rifle weighs more than Mr. Vetter, their flag tosses make me dizzy, and they have a really cute gaysian boy.

Speaking of dizzy... Monday was ridic. The short Brian version, Devon stubbed his toe and then had an exorcism. Which was more like him turning greenish-white, sweating profusely, his eyes rolling into his skull, having a something-exactlyyyyy-like-a-seizure-but-apparently-wasn't, and then fainting... the cops being mean... paramedics taking him away... then laughing at each other for freaking out so badly and using the excuse to not return to school. Crazy shit. Now he just limps and we call him a pussy :)

I'm babbling... but I guess that's what livejournal is for. I'm too worn out from losing at othello, makeup center, alcohol-themed hangman in night school, badminton with mel, & making fun of my super-stoned boyfriend to possibly sit here any longer. Plus, my eyes burning from the feverage and the light emanating from the monitor is just too much. Which reminds me, I get to start laptop-shopping soon. w00t.

Goodnight, world. :D

"...love is like a riii.... is it river?"
"yeahhh"
"riiiverrrrrr..."
"dude, what song are you singing?"

el, oh el.

...give nothing back...

2006-04-07T03:04:45Z

This had been a weird week.
I'm glad tomorrow's Friday.

I'm not-so-glad that Kossakof lost my homework.
Or that everyone I love in the world is going to .. symph-trip-it. Except Sara, who's going to Isreal... haha. & Mike, who's ditching me tomorrow. Yeahh. That's everyone.

Hates @ staying up all night, soliciting homeworks, Dunkin at 430 in the morning, gym makeup, and eventual death. Unless I speand time with JessPerry, [who btw wayyy to steal my sweatshirt], then I'll perish. I can't survive a day/night/day like that without her. Tomorrow will be a long day.

4 more days until SpringBreak. Crazyyy. Maddslumberparties, OC season 2, sleeping as much as I want, nice weather, college weekend, etc. Not going away turned out to be for the best. It'll be good, we have plenty of options. I'm completely set on Oceanside not sucking that week.

I definitely just accomplished all of my government work. Way to boost my average. Everyone hates her, but I think she's awesome. Not only because she specifically stretched herself out there to boost my average last-minute, or because she took karate with my boyfriend... she's too cute. She just wants us to learn everything in a day. I love her. She's sweet <3 At the moment, for probably the first time ever, I love every teacher I have. I'm going to miss high school. I'm too used to it.

I'll probably update later. Longgg nighttt.

took your soul out into the night...

2006-03-24T04:14:24Z

i know you well
i know your smell
i've been addicted to you

Nothing interesting to say...
This is all for Brian.
Not just because I love him and we love Rent...
but because he actually used MySpace.
So proud.

School annoys me. The dean sucks. I feel like shit lately.. I don't know if I'm sick, or emotionally messed up, or even a little bit of both... something's wrong with me. It's quite silly. I just want to smile sometimes and not be tired and not cry and graduate high school and go to prom and have a good relationship and get along with my friends... not that I don't have some of those things... but is that a lot to ask? Maybe life sucks for everyone and I'm just being greedy. I don't know. At least it should be spring.

I need a prom dress now. or tomorrow. It's not that I'm intentionally putting it off, I just... don't get things done. I'm so irresponsible sometimes. I need to decide whether I want to go up to UMass over Easter weekend or not. I need to... do so many things that I haven't done. I need to grow up.

Tomorrow is Friday. Weekends are beauuutiful.
Then 2 1/2 weeks before vacation.
& then school is pretty much over.
I never understood how it was possible to be so excited, so relieved, so nervous, so happy, so scared, and so sad... at the same time.
I guess it's the "inevitable".
:/

gobos!

2006-03-08T01:03:08Z

This entire situation has become so blown out of proportion, it's ridiculous. What should be an issue smaller than JessPerry has become bigger than my boyfriend's ego... it is out of control. This shouldn't have affected anyone other than the two of us, and yet it has affected everyone. It's making people uncomfortable. It's even complicating my prom. It's just so unfair and childish and unneccessary... not to mention that I don't need one more person telling me to apologize for doing nothing wrong, simply because I'm the mature one. It's not the friendship that I want to fix, I don't even care anymore.. it's the people around me that I want to make it easier on. It's the fact that someone doesn't get to see his best friend because his best friend's girlfriend is a bitch. It's about the fact that you can't control your boyfriend, your best friend, or anyone else. I actualy care about the people around me, I don't want ridiculous drama to make their lives difficult when they aren't even involved. It's dumb.
Grow up.

So anyway...
Winter shoudl end soon. I got that nauseous feeling in the car today that I get when it's warm out and I'm in the car for too long... that's a sign of spring right there. You're excited. Colorguard too, that should be good times... just hanging out in the band room with Melissa while the 12 band dorks who actually came attempted to play their music.. I just missed it.
Gobos.
...rofl. Love herr.

I was so set on Stony Brook... my decision was almost made. Then Geneseo decided they want me too... and now it has become a real decision. The school that's totally fit for me.. in Guam.. in the cold.. in a hick town... or another decent school where I can live on Long Island, drive, see my family, and feel comfortable. I really don't know. Ughhhhhh.

So school is boring. I have no idea whose prom limo we're going in, it seems to change every day. Myspace isn't working. I have lots of government work to do. Titanic was on before so I have to watch the rest. & I touched your mom's gobos.

another night alone in the city, yeah

2006-02-26T23:30:29Z

Time's been flying by soooo quickly. Vacation is already over, in a few days it will be March... we have 4 more months of high school left. It's crazy.

Not a bad vacation... did some awesome shopping... I bought jewelry, a new bag that I love, more OldNavy sandals :), a few other little things... Rent the movie, of course. [[Lovedddd it. MikeRossetti is obsessed.]]. Chilled @ TrishMurray's a few times... spent a few days at Mike A's house... some Rent watching, a few mall trips, a million blunts smoked, nothing accomplished... yeahh. That was my vacation. Well, last night was Mel's house... she'shome=D. I think everyonee is home now, minus the tree... whose family I hung out with all day yesterday and cooked like no other... but I'm glad [almost] everyone's safe and in Oceanside and okay. I'm glad Devon found a girlfriend. I'm glad Mel enjoyed her vacation so much. I'm glad everything is cool. The weather's getting bettterrrrrr.

High-five for getting into New Paltz... I haven't heard the best things about it, & Stony Brook is closer, and probably a better school... I think I have my mind made up... but it's a wonderful feeling to get into a college. Since tuition/board combined is madddlower than I expected... I mayyy be able to work a car payment into my budget. Could you imagine?! I mean, it is a commuter school, I can take Driver's Ed in the summer... I might have a car. Stay offff the roadddd. =p

I listen to a superfluous amount of fall out boy. My legs burn from shaving, I don't know why. It's so cold in my house, I'm about to cry. I haven't finished my government work. Devon's a slowpoke. People are being gheyy. Hatee sundays.

See you all in school tomorrow. :x

who got stacks? i got stacks

2006-02-16T05:14:27Z

Valentine's day is just the cutest holiday. I always loved it... I was never one of those girls who hated the world and every male in it because she didn't have a valentine. In fact, those girls annoyed me. Having friends that loved me and being content with my life was enough to not despise a holiday just because other girls were in love and I wasn't. However, having someone you really care about makes it totally different. It's not about getting to carry around flowers and a teddy bear, or cheesy overpriced cards, or eating an abundance of chocolate. It's about appreciating and celebrating someone you care about, it's about stepping back and realizing every lovely part about a relationship that, on a daily basis, you probably take for granted. It's about knowing that laying in a bed making funny sounds and making fun of each other at any opportunity and just enjoying one another's company is more fun that a fancy restaurant or a cliche movie, because you're with that person and that's all that matters. After such a long, emotionally-draining weekend, Valentine's day gave me a completely new perspective on my relationship. It makes me smile.

But my dozens of roses are still gorrrrgeous.
And the chocolate is delicious.
=D

I got into Stony Brook. I've had this terrible fear lately that no college would even take a second look at me... it's comforting. Exciting. But, most of all, terrifying. Every step I take towards leaving high school make me more and more scared about the future. I feel that once I have a family, a home, a career... and as much as my life develops, it will pretty much be established for good... I'll finally be... well, not content... but not scared. I guess the change makes life more interesting... I'm just not good with it.

Spaiinnnnn left today. I looked through all my pictures before, and I felt torn between a pleasant nostalgia and a gloomy jealousy. I know Anna and Cesare and everyone else is going to have a great time, and I'm happy for them. Plus, looking back at my pictures reminds me of all the great times, funny moments, and unforgettable things I experienced that week. But at the same time, spending another vacation in Oceanside while my friends travel the globe makes me envious... especially on a trip that I loved so much, because I know what I'm missing.
Regardless, I'll miss Anna. I'll miss Mel while she's in Italy. Devon in London. Corey when he goes skiing. At least I have Brian, he's my vacation homie. & MikeRossetti won't be grounded. I'll survive... sorta. I'm still jealous.

I have so much government work to do, I want to throw up. I have to bake my boyfriend cupcakes for when he comes home from the hopsital. Yes, hopsital. I really need to wash my hair. There's laundry to be done. Eco homework, something I can't slack off on. A few more plane letters to be written. Oh, and I have school in 7 hours.
All-nighter? Yeah, I think so.

Hey.
I got into college. :)

The screeeenplayyyyy. I found it in my email today.
Brian's ability to capture our entire summer in one scene of a night in Devon's yard.
Oh, wait....
We spent every night of the summer in Devon's backyard.
Anyone who knows us will appreciate this....

Scene 1
Devon's backyard, everyone is seen around Devons table.

Devon: Yo, pass the bong. I'm so high I can't feel my face. (Smacks face)

Corey: This is awesome, I love smoking weed. Its 1337. I pwned you.

Kenny: I pwned your mom. (Lights cigarette)

Dana: Shut the fuck up, Kenny. You suck at life.

Corey: Haha that was funny.

Dana: (looks to god and prays) I hate my life, why me?

Amadoras: (Holds blunt towards sky) Finally it's been 4 hours but this blunt has been rolled. Let's smoke more buds!

Brian: That's definetly the best idea ive heard all night. Pass me another beer, im gonna shot gun it.

Devon: Amadoras let's see who can play Chicago longer.

(They are seen passing a blunt around, Devon has a coughing fit after 3 hits)

Amadoras, Kenny, Brian: PUSSY! PUUUUSSSYYYY.

(Amadoras goes inside)

Amadoras: (smiling, walking towards table) Yeah, Yeah, Purple City Byrd Gang represent. Who got stacks? I got Stacks.

(The guys are seen playing stacks)

Dana: You've got to be kidding me, I'm gonna watch them play magic for another hour, no way. Brian, sidebar with me, please.

Brian: No, im playing stacks, this is intense.

Kenny: Your mom is intense. (Takes drag of cigarette)

Devon: If you strip maybe we'll stop playing stacks.

Dana: OK that sounds like an awesome idea. (takes off shirt, is in process of taking off bra)

(Rossettis voice is heard: Dana, stop, Jesus Christ)

Dana: Jesus Chrizzle!

Rossetti: (Just his hand, with a deck of cards spread out is seen) Hey guys, I just got back from Anna's house. Guess what we did? A lot? Want to see a magic trick?

Devon: NOOO! But you can help make sure that Kenny, who went to the bathroom to puke out the 3 beers he had, is ok. And while you're at it, save Dana too she's in my computer room.

Rossetti: Ok fine, I guess I'll have to save everyone's ass again

Jess: Remember that one time Kenny saved the day? That was nuts. (Jess tells story of the night-insert more details)

(Dana comes outside)

Dana: Hey guys what's up?

Brian: Hey Dana, can I have a cigarette

Everyone else: Yeah Dana, me too.

(Dana gives cigarettes to everyone, falls on to Devon's hammock)

Dana: Give me another beer.

Kenny: You already had 7

Dana: So, one more and then ill be done. (gets beer)

(Mike comes back outside)

Devon: Hey, has anyone ever realized, (insert devon quote)

Dana: Wow, that might have been the most stupid thing I have ever heard. Kill yourself.

(Corey gets up to sit near Dana, knocking into table, bong almost falls)

Devon: HOLY CRAP I HATE ALL OF YOU. YOU'RE SUCH ASSHOLES, YOU MAKE MY HOUSE A MESS, I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU!

Corey: Chill out, it's not a big deal.

Rossetti: I agree, chill.

Devon: No, I need to flip out about these things so nothing bad happens.

(Kenny comes out)

Kenny: Yo, I'm so wasted Its intense, I want something to eat. (Lights cigarette)

Corey: (eagerly) I know im totally trashed and can't see straight, but I'll drive.

Devon: Yeah, Kenny go with him, maybe you can puke more in his car.

Kenny: Fuck you, I know I'm a lightweight but I can handle it.(Stumbles over self) I'm not gonna throw up, asshole.(Lights cigarette) Brian, why don't you go with Corey?

Rossetti: No one's going with Corey, he's drunk. I'll drive wherever we need to go.

Devon: Nahh, fuck it no one's going any where. We are gonna chill inside, play stacks for days upon days, and then you guys got to leave. I have a whole crap load of cleaning to do even though it will take 5 minutes and I'll have everyone help with it.

(Corey is drumming on table)

Kenny: I hate you stop drumming.

Corey: STFU I'm a drummer, I'm in marching band, I'll drum wherever the fuck I want.

Devon: Alright everyone inside.

(Everyone is seen walking into Devons, Kenny lights cigarette, trips, Dana is being carried by Mike)

End of Scene 1

i wanna read good news.

2006-02-07T04:08:38Z

Day school is fun.
Night school... is not.

I'm done now.

It was really cold today. My hair hates me. This weekend is going to be terrible. I didn't do my "week in review". I left my coffee mug in school. I don't have my rings. I'm quite tired. I have to shower and do homework. Tomorrow's gonna be a longgg dayy.

I need a hug.

caderection... that's what its called when drums turn you on.

2006-02-02T02:27:13Z

There's something about human nature that causes us to seek pleasure in the misfortune or humiliation of others. There's nothing funnier than someone embarassing themselves in public... hence why the first few weeks of American Idol are the best thing on television. I can't stop watching it. It's terrible.
Oh, how I love being home on weeknights.

School's getting more bearable. Longer, earlier, and more work... but more bearable.The lockdown today was ridiculous. I was on the edge of smoking a cigarette in the middle of the cafeteria. I hate being caged in and not having the ability to escape, it's the second time they've done that. It bothers me excessively and I can't explain it... totally freaked me out.

So I registered for night school just now, which starts on Monday... w00tz. I'm excited about graduating. I also visited Starbizzle, got passion tea/lemonade and the cutest Valentine-themed travel coffee.. thing. Government in the morning is going to be a lot less excruciating now. :)

Guard starts up again this month, word has it... despite all the drama and everything I've heard about lately.. I love the girls, and I love twirling, and I can't wait to start again. :D

Canada seems less and less likely to happen as time goes on. I can't believe there's a chance I may not go on a vacation at all for my senior spring break, nevermind a tropical one. I'll be crushed. *tear* I'd really like it to work out.

Beauty and the Geek is on now... another reality show I'm addicted to. Knowing more about computers than they do makes me feel like a good girlfriend. Plus, being pretty and knowing a little about interior design at the same time just makes me smile. Aww, the guys on the show are so cute! I have a weakness for geeky boys.

I need to take Jamal to the doctor, shop for Valentine's day, and get a new bag. Mall this weekend? Yeahh. Good plan. How about Sunday... football is so overrated anyway.

i'll convince you soon that i am fine

2006-01-28T05:37:00Z

I failed economics.
I've never failed a class.

I know I've always had an attendance thing... that's been the case since I was a little kid... but it's never bothered me, I've never felt that it was a big deal, because I always got good grades and knew the work and everything was okay. I don't fail classes. I just don't. I get 85s on eco tests and that upsets me, when half the class is like "OMGZ. i cheated and can't spell my own name and i got a 62! yes!" ... I win national contests and make high honor roll and do my friends' homework for them. I don't failllll. I really was not expecting this. I don't know if I've ever been this upset! I failed. I'm a failure.

I mean, I'm going to get my shit together. I'm not gonna say "sucks" and move on with my life. I am not this kind of student. This is scary. Getting everything together and straightening school out for myself is something I have to do, I guess this is a good wake up call.. but nothing will erase the fact that I failed a class. Jesus. Soooo I went to guidance for over 2 hours this morning... set up my schedule, almosttttt got american lit changed to independent study... but ciulla hates me. Imma be coming into school at 7:30 like the rest of the world... this should be fun? Hatesss.

Today was interesting. By interesting, I mean boring, wasteful, and not at all different from almost every other day... plus Mel's house... whom I missed. Midterms was a nice little vacation... and not like the next one, when everybody and their mom will be away.

It frightens me that I can allow anyone to have control of my emotions. The fact that someone can make me smile or cry at the drop of a hat is such a scary thought... but I think that if I had that sort of effect on a person, I wouldn't say things to make them upset. I'd make them feel wanted. loved. special. I would make them happy.

Maybe that's expecting too much.

DLTing a class is like jerking off on a baby

2006-01-19T04:18:51Z

...oh, mike armadoros quotes. classic.

brian's right, i need to update my livejournal. it's been a year or two. my life consists of school, sleep, repetitive weekends... nothing special, but i'm not complaining. whom am i kidding... i'm always complaining. but hey, it could be worse.

i'm so sick of school. i know that the year's half over, and it's gone prettyyy quicky. and as much as i'm so excited to get out of that effing school, i don't feel like i'm ready to leave high school yet. i mean, i can handle it. i just like things the way they are. i'm gonna miss it. the year's already halff overrr.

amanda came on sunday! i forgot how much i missed her... we've obviously grown apart, but we can still laugh together about the stupidest little things and recall moments like they happened yesterday. it's awesome to have a friend like that, i know that no matter what we'll always stay in touch. like, our children will be friends. it makes me smile... i love her.

cheesecake fizzle yesterday was fun, too. it was such a nice night. iloveyou:D ... good weekend, too. i don't think i set foot in devon's house once. :) tristan&isolde was pretty good... [i didn't trip this time.] ... one sober party @ kennys. & another not-so-sober quasi-party. real men don't rape.

the snow and the rain are slowly and surely killing my ugg boots. i can't wear them in this weather anymore. ughhhihatethesnowww. i hate that my nose ring keeps bleeding. i miss jess. i need this week to be over so we're off again. i want money... without a job.

two more days. then a weekend. then a few horus of midterms on monday. then i'm offff. *sigh* i'm excited.

all i want for christmas is you.

2005-12-27T15:34:25Z

What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
sex. rifle. skinny dipping. six flags. work.

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i wish i could remember if i'd make any. and if so, what they were.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.

Did anyone close to you die?
nope.

What countries did you visit?
SPAIN. one of the best times of my life

What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
money... but not a job.

What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2/16-2/something: spain.
7/25: lots of sand in the back of the car. :)
8/13: the night... bestnightofthesummer. bestsummerofmylife.
9/17: <3.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
marchingband... the only thing i made an effort in.

What was your biggest failure?
school.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
i defff got sick.

What was the best thing you bought?
my nose ring. the nano. the boots that almost killed me today.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
jack rossetti. last weekend.

Whose behavior made you appalled?
your mom's.

Where did most of your money go?
the tobacco industry.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
my birthday. robo. band camp.

What song will always remind you of 2005?
riverdance.
warmth of the sand.
myhumps!
rock lobster.
boys of summer.
don't stop believing.
anything on the mesmerize cd.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? happier.
b) Thinner or fatter? thinner, i think.
c) Richer or poorer? just as broke.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
gone to class.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
complaining.

How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it with the family...

Did you fall in love in 2005?
no.

How many one-night stands?
zero.

What was your favorite TV program?
the tyra banks show!!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
definitely... but hate is a strong word.

What was the best book you read?
gatsby.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
death cab.

What did you want and get?
pretty much everything i wanted.

What did you want and not get?
presents from all of my friends. >:|

....justkidding.

What was your favourite film of this year?
donnie darko.
does that count?
well if it has to be a new movie...
hp. ♥

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
17.
well my birthday weekend was awesome. trip to the brew, NYC, nose ring, etc.
more than anything, i just abused my birthday to solicit things.
but that's perfectly okay.
the whole crew went to shogun on the b-day. then i watched corey sleep.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
i guess i was less bum-ish this year than the years before. selfprops.

What kept you sane?
anna. nicotine. my music. coffee.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
ummmmmm.

What political issue stirred you the most?
i wish i could say that i paid attention to, or cared about, politics. it makes me sound ignorant. but i really don't.
i hate myself sometimes.
but not often.

Who did you miss?
...whom.
i miss the krunkas more than i coudl ever express. i miss the marching band crew. i miss amanda, i haven't seen her in like 3 years. i miss kenny! he's dumb. i miss my boyfriend a tiny bit... but he doesn't really care.

Who was the best new person you met?
my whole crew. well, i didn't really meet some of them, some were acquaintances. but same thing.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
good friendships are the most valuable thing in the world, and you shouldn't throw them away easily.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
[insert white houses by vanessa carlton. or again i go unnoticed by dashboard.]

in 2005, did you:
1. go to a party?: a few.
2. try something new?: yep.
3. have someone change your life?: yes.
4. kiss someone?: maybe.
5. tell your family and friends you love them?: mhmm.
6. buy something extravagant?: definitely.
7. had someone else do something nice for you?: yehyuh.
8. do something terribly wrong?: maybe.
9. move?: nope.
10. go to a concert?: greenday<3

best of the year:
1. party: mikerossetti's house parties.
2. show: rent.
3. cd: mesmerise.
4. movie: goblet oh fiyah.
5. song: idk.
6. experience: hmmm.
7. purchase: the nose ring
8. book: angels & demons. sup special edition?!
9. month: july.
10. day: hmmm.

worst of the year:
1. party: kenny's was pretty bad. nooffense.
2. show: i don't go to shows.
3. cd: um.
4. movie: yellow submarine. hah.
5. song: "hey i raped my mom and killed her. yo. gangs are cool"
6. experience: the subway trips.
7. purchase: packs of cigarettes.
8. book: as i lay dying.
9. month: i do not know.
10. day: christmas.

hopes for 2006:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2006?: crazy times in canada.
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: less strict immigration laws. giggle.
3. what do you hope for yourself?: a good senior year. a good college. some scholarships. and a sick summer before i leave.
4. what do you hope for your family?: that once i leave, they can be a happy family together.
5. what do you hope for your friend(s)?: to graduate.

during 2005:
1. where were you when it began?: i honestly have no clue.
2. did you stay up?: i always do.
3. what was your new year wish?: i wish i had a memory.
4. how many boyfriends/girlfriends?: onee.
5. broke up?: nope.
6. have any crushes?: your mother.
7. care to mention names?: umm.
8. new friends?: yeahh. ♥
9. had to say goodbye?: yup.
10. missed anyone?: yess! :(
11. win anything?: i won $2 on a lottely ticket the other day.. whatwhatt?!
12. best place you went to?: s p a i n.
13. worst place you went to?: school.
14. happiest moment?: can't pick just one.
15. how was your birthday?: okay.
16. best present?: i just got uggs. they're pretty sick. but so are my dan brown books. and the scarf that's on its way.

MEMORIES FROM EACH MONTH:
january: jess' birthday comes to mind. goodtimes.
february: españa!
march: um.
april: sneaking out in the middle of the night with my loser friends.
may: sixflags. mike's party. interesting weekend. & the parade.
june: end of school.
july: an awesome summer with nice beach days and insane nights.
august: everyone came home, a few awesome nights to wrap up a gooood summer. & bandcamp!
september: school starting. the 17th.
october: band = life. and i loved it.
november: championships. thxgiving. my bday.
december: cold. scavenger hunt. badchristmas. weird vacation.

In 2005 I...

{x} broke a promise
{x} made a new best friend
{x} done something you swore never to do
{x} lied
{x} stole
{x} went behind your parents back
{ } cried over a broken heart
{x} dissapointed someone close
{x} hid a secret
{ } pretended to be happy
{ } got arrested
{x} kissed in the rain
{ } slept under the stars
{?} kept your new years resolution
{xxx} forgot your new years resolution
{x} met someone who changed your life
{ } met one of your idols
{x} changed your outlook on life
{x} sat home all day doing nothing
{ } pretended to be sick
{x} left the country
{ } almost died
{x} gave up on someone important to you
{x} lost something expensive
{x} learned something new about yourself
{x} tried something you normally wouldnt try and liked it
{x} made a change in your life
{x} find out who your true friends were
{x} made a total fool of yourself
{xxxxxxxx} met great people

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I don't remember my New Year's resolution, or what I did on December 31st, but I remember the year ending. & it doesn't feel like that was an entire year ago... and at the same time, it feels like 5 years ago. Weird. 2006, since it's my gradutating year, is a number I've heard every now and then for the longest time... I've always been class of 2006, and it's an important year, but it always seemed far away. More of a concept than a time that would actually come. I can't believe I'm graduating in a few months... scary shit.

Vacationnnn. Not having school or homework or tests or required wake-up times is lovely. Not having rides anywhere or my scarf or decent plans, however, is less lovely. I miss my boyfriend a lot... and he's off in Mexico getting tan in December and probably hanging out with my relatives. He keeps calling to tell me that his face hurts from flying or to ask what my favorite color is. He's silly... but he should come home now. Last night Devon and I went to his house... because Lori&Vicki are the ill and I can't not see them. They had a few guests over, this crazy drunk woman and this adorable gay couple... we played poker, they drank 85 bottles of wine, we talked about teabagging, and Devon took his pants off... it was so much fun. I have to stop by there tonight to see Julia. She's the cutest.

Not only are there no cars, but there's really not much to do. On Christmas night, after a day of my family rejecting me, I went to Anna's... her 10 year old family friend was the biggest bully in the world! She called me braceface and ugly and gross and she beat me up. She kept writing that she hated me on the furniture. & she couldn't even spell my name. It was ridiculous. It was ok though, but only because I love Anna. But nobody makes plans, and I've been walking all over the place in the cold. Tomorrow is the only day thus far that has potential to be interesting. It's ghey. Hates.

I miss Mel. I miss the Brew. I miss the summer. I miss the days that we actually did interesting things. I miss the days when the 'group' was bigger, when we hung out with everyone. I miss the amount of fun we used to have. I miss the LeBaron! I miss SystemofaDown. I miss Dunkin Dizzle. I miss Corey. I miss the beach. I miss marching band.

I hate change.

Happy New Year.

i'm just a little weak on my feet

2005-12-16T01:59:33Z

Aww, my poor abandoned livejournal... with no comments. or entries.
:(

It's so cold outside, it's killing me. The only thing keeping me alive is the huge Christmas tree right behind me that I could smell a mile away. I <3 Christmasssss.

I love having 6 days of class left before vacation.

I love that I'm sitting at the computer, but I'm still listening to Jamal. He's totally my lover.

I'm really in the mood for coffee... someone should come pick me up and bring me to Dunkin Donuts. Even better, my personal barista should make me something and bring it to me after work :). Orrr... both. Yeahh. Good plan.

The "senior scavenger hunt" ... not the real one, but whatever ... is tomorrow. I'm excited. I wanna see what the clever geniuses in my grade have come up with as far as crazy things to do. Our car's gonna be fun. Plus, winning would be awesome. w00t.

Saturday is 3month/Mike A's birthday.. should be intense. Hopefully a trip to the mall on Sunday... I have madd gifts to buyyy.

So, I hear S&L has limits now? wtf mate. I had so much fun last week, I really missed it. Ugh, I could really stab dofapa in the throat sometimes. So many people do it [...better than I do, I might add] that I doubt I'll get a chance to really do much this year. It sucks. I feel bad though... everyone used to have so much fun.

I've been watching america'snexttopmodel all day .. I'm completely obsessed. I hate TV, I hate models, I hate reality shows... and yet I've watched the last 5 episodes marathon-ing on VH1 and I haven't been able to stop. I'm so silly sometimes. alliteration :D

I'm done now.

such a sucker for a sweet talker

2005-12-03T19:44:44Z

valió la pena
lo que era necesario
para estar contigo, amor
tú eres una bendición
las horas y la vida
de tu lado, nena
están para vivirlas
pero a tu manera
enhorabuena
porque valió la pena

So it's no longer my birthday. Birthday weekend. Birthday month. Birthday anything. *cries*

I had fun though.

Last Saturday was amazing... Anna and I went into the city, shopped, my earrings are cute. Random men liked my skirt. haha. We had awesome smoothies. I love us. We randomly saw Danny Gustus.. but then again, everyone seems to do that. We met up with Corey... the subway was on sale :) ... cheap Starbucks.. which was burnt. Mike and Devon showed up.. we went to St. Marks... this old man tried to sell us ashtrays and get us to do drugs. Then a large black man stuck needles in my nose. and hugged me. Devon got something that made his day too. The five of us annoyed everyone in our entire train car on the ride home. I had the best timeee. This time of year would be so much less special if I were alone and I'm glad I'm not. :)
The rest of that night was good ... Mike Rossetti was ridiculous. He makes me giggle. Kenny has work too often. A lot of people have work too often :/

Shogun for the birthday dinner! Good times... I kinda wish I tried catching food in my mouth. I wish Mel wasn't "allergic" to seafood. I wish everyone could have come.

Everyone bought me the best presents and I love them to deathhh. I can't wait to watch Donnie. & Friends. & the special video your mom made me ;)

Rent was SO good! I'm obsessed. I reallyy want to see the movie... but it won't be as good. I'm so taken aback by theatre performers... I just think they're so unbelievably talented. Even if the show was terrible I'd still be sitting there in awe of their voices and maddskillzzz. But Rent was beyond awesome. I had a greatt timee. <3

Now it's officially Christmas season. Excited much? I've already eaten six million candy canes. Put up my mini tree. I have maddd shopping to do though. Mall anyone?

It's 2:45. I've been up for, like, 7 hours and I still haven't gotten out of my house... grrrr. Ghey. I need better friends x 5. But if I had them, I'd probably fuck them over. That's what I do... not just with good friendships, with anything good. I have a knack for ruining the things that are most important to me.

1. DO YOU SNORE?
no.

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
a little bit of both.

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
~~birds~~ change.

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
yeahhh. :)

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
laguna? yehyuh.

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
sometimes.

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
not at all. look for my lack of baby picture in the yearbook.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
i'm perfectly fine being single... but i'm okay not being single too. heh.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
black. like your mom!

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
maybe.

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
i'd loveee to do that one day.

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
no. though i can fit my fist in my mouth. that almost counts. and i'm naturally good at landscaping, dishwashing, and stealing.

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
españa. in the warm weather.

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
mhmm.

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yupp.

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
never. it's not my favourite movie. kenny definitely didn't buy it for me yesterday. i'm not dying to watch it. :D

17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
i don't use aerosol hairspray.

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i don't like tootsie pops.

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
if i wanted to.

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
yeah.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
not so much.

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
electric.

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
hunting is cruel.
hi, veggie.
well if you're living in the woods.
like thoreau.
and you need to hunt for survival.
then, okay.
but for sport?
shut upp.

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
hopefully.

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
i do. so does anna. i'm her sweet 16 slave.

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
fish. no, not really. [hearts@mel.]
i don't think i have any allergies.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
who knows.

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
no. neither is tupac.

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
yes.

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
[OMG EGGS! i hate my friends....] not at all.

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
livejournal surveys are dumb.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
i lose socks all the time!
"corey, i can't find my sock".
"call it. my cell phone's over there".
"what?"
"call it."
"my sock. not my phone".
"ohhh". *falls back asleep*
i hate life.

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
OCEANSIDE WHAT TIME IS IT? hahahaha.

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
not really.

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
mhmm.

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
well, actually... i woke up in a car.
giggle.
lastnight.

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers. baths are dirty.

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
yes!

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
yessssssssssssssss.

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
nope. i like the dark. ;)

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
caffeine. jamal. nicotine. black eyeliner. shopping.

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
creamy.

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
yupp.

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
nope *knocks on wood*

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
once.

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
probably. i wouldn't know. but it sounds quite appealing.

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
not really.

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
blue. and pretty. and not the best eyes in my grade because i'm not on yearbook committee.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
at times.

51. WHO'S BETTER?
your mom!

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no?

53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
yupp. :)

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
omg i'm so good at the drums..

55. HAVE U EVER STOLEN MONEY?
yes.

56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
no.

57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
EW! i'd never go camping.

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
no.

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
no, but i believe in mikerossetti.

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
no, but they're my best friend!

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
is that something one can believe in?

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
i'm no liz diaz.

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
who doesn't?

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
YES! :(

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
pizza yesterday.

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
occasionally.

67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
neverrr.

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
i hate all tv commercials.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
yea boiii. i <3 ae.

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
no favourite band. but i'm completely obsessing over the nannn. ♥jamal.

love.

what happens in mel's basement, stays in mel's basement... ;)

2005-11-26T18:48:22Z

CURRENT :

- Current Clothes: my denim skirt. blue pants. 17 shirts. :)
- Current Mood: suchhh a good mood. xmas music + my birthday = XD
- Current Music: pink flizzle
- Current Taste: vanilla gum.
- Current Make-up: none.
- Current Hair: down. semi-straight.
- Current Smell: cucumber melon.
- Current thing I ought to be doing: doing my hair. cleaning. laundry. homework. something.
- Current Desktop Picture: daniel radcliffe being sexy.
- Current Favorite Group: death cab.
- Current Book: i have so much to readddd.
- Current CD in CD Player: christmasss.
- Current tape in VCR: marching band 04.
- Current Color Of Toenails: brownish red.
- Current Refreshment: none.
- Current Worry: being in the city with only my other half.
LAST:
- You Touched: my sister.
- You Talked to: my mother.
- You Hugged: iono.
- You Yelled At: my brother.
FAVORITE:
- Foods: tupperware.
- Drink: that's like picking a favorite child.
- Color: periwinkle.
- Album: hmmm.
- Shoes: my hooker boots
- Candy: anythingchocolate. + gummy cubs.
- Animal: aww. i can't pick that one either. <3
- TV Show: ~~CSI~~ friends.
- Song: trouble.
- Vegetable: your mom.
- Fruit : my brother. ♥
- Cartoon: IHATECARTOONS. ok. hey arnold.
ARE Y0U
- Understanding: yes.
- Open-minded: yes.
- Arrogant: yes.
- Insecure: not really.
- Interesting: ehh.
- Easily Amused: mhmm.
- Random: somewhat.
- Hungry: never.
- Friendly: sometimes.
- Smart: yes.
- Moody: haha. not at allll. :)
- Childish: idk.
- Healthy: yes. *lights cigarette*
- Shy: no.
- Difficult: maybe.
- Bored Easily: at times.
- Messy: not really.
- Thirsty: mhmm.
- Responsible: yes.
- Obsessed: very.
- Angry: no.
- Sad: occasionally.
- Happy: now? yes. w00t.
- Hyper: ehh.
- Trusting: no.
- Talkative: mhmmmm.
WHO[M] DO YOU WANT TO
- Kill : ^ people with bad english.
- Slap: your mom in bed.
- get High With: kristen. hah.
- Tickle: kelly haff! justkidding. tickling is evil.
- Look Like: anyone without braces.
- Talk To Online: hotties.
HAVE YOU EVER
- Been kissed? never.
- Eaten an entire box of Oreos? probably.
- Been on stage? yes.
- Dumped Someone? yes.
- Gotten in a car accident? mhmm.
- Been in love? no.
FAVORiTE
-Shampoo? fructis.
-Toothpaste? uhm.
-Soap? whatever.
-Room in your house? my room.
-Instrument? sousaphone. haha.
EITHER/OR
-Coffee or hot chocolate? coffeeeeeeeeee.
-New or old? new.
-Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? bradpitt<3
-Vogue or Cosmopolitan? cosmo.
-Jeans or cords? jeans.
-Sweater or sweatshirt? sweatshirt .
-T-shirt or tank top? tshirt.
- Skirt or dress? dress.
- Wool or cotton? cotton.
- Rose or Lily? rose.
- Oldies or pop? oldies.
- Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? mhmm.
- Do you have a best friend? MAD! ♥
IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU
- Cried? no.
- Helped someone? yes.
- Bought something? yes.
- Gotten sick? no.
- Gone to the movies? no.
- Gone out for dinner? nope.
- Said "I love you"? yes.
- Written a real letter? no.
- Moved on? no.
- Talked to an ex? no.
- Missed an ex? no.
- Talked to someone you have a crush on? no.
- Had a serious talk? yes.
- Missed someone? yeahhh.
- Hugged someone? yes.
- Fought with your parents? no.
- Fought with a friend? no.

01. I miss somebody right now. :/
02. I don't watch TV much these days. [minus csi. lolz.]
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
~~07. I love to play video games.~~
08. I've watched porn movies.
09. I have been in a threesome.
10. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
11. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
12. I have acne free skin.
13. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
14. I curse frequently.
15. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
16. I have a hobby.
17. I love clothes, accessories, getting my hair done
18. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
19. I'm really, really smart.
20. I've never broken someone's bones [i'm not ed]
21. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
22. I hate the rain.
23. I'm paranoid at times.
24. I own a 90's pop CD.
25. I need money right now.
26. I love sushi.
27. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
28. I have fresh breath in the morning.
29. I have semi-long hair.
30. I still love my ex.
31. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
32. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
35. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
36. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
37. I like the way that I look sometimes.
38. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
39. I have brown eyes.
40. I am usually pessimistic.
41. I have a lot of mood swings.
42. I think prostitution should be legalized.
43. I think Britney Spears is hot.
44. I have cheated on a significant other in the past.
45. I have a hidden talent.
46. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I've had.
47. I think that I'm popular.
48. I am currently single.
49. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
50. I enjoy talking on the phone.
51. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
52. I love to shop.
53. I would rather shop than eat.
54. I would classify myself as ghetto.
55. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
56. I'm obsessed with my online journal.
~~57. I don't hate anyone.~~
58. I'm a pretty good dancer.
59. I watched an awesome movie within the last week.
60. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
61. I have a cell phone.
~~62. I believe in God.~~
63. I watch MTV/VH1 on a daily basis.
64. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
65. I love drama.
66. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before.
67. I've rejected someone before.
68. I currently have a crush on someone
~~69. I want to have children in the future.~~
70. I have changed a diaper before.
71. I've called the cops on a friend before.
72. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
73. I'm not allergic to anything.
74. I have a lot to learn.
75. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
76. I plan on seeing an ex boyfriend/girlfriend within the next day at school.
77. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes.
78. I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
79. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
80. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
81. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
82. I own the SouthPark movie.
83. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be online in general.
84. When I was a kid I played, "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor.
85. I enjoy some country music.
86. I want to beat Britney Spears with a rock for over an hour..
87. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. [i'm not davidschwartz.]
89. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
90. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
91. I love Michael Jackson, scandals, and all.
92. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story."
93. Halloween is awesome.
94. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
95. I have dated a close friend's ex.
96. I'm happy as of this moment.
97. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s.
98. I haven't showered in two days.
99. I'd rather be in Germany than anywhere else.
100. I'm obsessed with getting manicures/pedicures.
101. I want to visit Italy either for the first time or again.
102. I'm one of those types who are easily amused.
103. I have cried in the last week.
104. I have flirted with someone I didn't like just to get something out of it.
105. I like at least 3 British Comedy TV shows.
107. I have overslept and missed my classes.
109. I listen to music no matter what I'm doing.
110. I yell at the TV when I watch sports.
111. I miss being homeless.
112. I am obsessed with WB dramas.
113. I was in a situation where I almost died.
114. I think that Burger King has the best burgers.
115. I want to become a novelist/columnist.
116. I cry about pointless things very often.
117. I love taking bubble baths.
118. Second place doesn't mean you're a winner.
119. I think this survey sucks
120. I’m an EXTREME anime/manga freak.
121. I want to spend a year of my life just traveling and taking pictures..everywhere.
122. I want to have a field day at Dylan's Candy Shop
123. I am now bored, once again.
124. I wish I lived in the 60's
125. I wish i had the power to freeze time. and unfreeze only certain people while the rest of time is frozen.

I hate that I can't find anything more worthwhile to occupy me than a livejournal survey... even though the second one was somewhat unconventional.

Hi, it's my birthday weekend. Best mood ever? Yeah. Yesterday was so much fun... Vicki took me shopping :) She's too cute... like, we hung out and it didn't even feel as though there were a generation gap. She's just awesome. I think I picked out an ill-na-na present.
Then we went to the brew! I wish everyone could have came, but we didn't have room in the car anyway. + people weren't around. We got ourrrr table, there were tiramisu and banana wholes, we called the sugar salt. We even blasted System of a Down on the way there & back... just like old times. Sooo much fun.

We're going to the cityyy todayyy. Me + Anna = shopping in Herald Square by ourselves for hours. She's a certified bad ass. Then we'll meet up with the boys, I'll get my nose pierced, we'll get discount Starbucks... I'm so excited! It'll be fun. There's this kid.. he's coming home.. I kinda miss him.

So I didn't get my braces off. My ortho is dumb. I'll get over it.
Because I ordered my nano.
It's coming next week sometime.
That makes it all better.

God, I love my birthday.

all that is gold does not glitter

2005-11-21T21:45:56Z

Our school is dumb.
"Hey, there was a bank robbery in Baldwin. You can't leave the school ever."
You're stupid.
So we walked to the door in between the art rooms and that place where I used to live. 75 security guards screamed and chased us when we got outside. We just got in Brett's car.
I hate them.

Harry Potter was SO cute. I loved it. The 4 million inconsistencies with the books annoyed me, but it can't be perfect. I really wish the sphinx was in it. And Harry saving Gabrielle from the merpeople made no sense since they cut half the song out and .. grr. I still loved it. Cedric was insanely hot.

Brian's on Saturday for 45 straight hours was actually a good time. I love sitting with Anna and just making fun of the idiocy around us. Good times.
Yesterday Corey and I visited Devon at work... he's cute. I miss his parents a lot. Vicki gave me her maddvintage cowboy boots, and I'm completely in lust with them... she's the best.

So I'm getting my nose pierced on Saturday, definitely. Party in the city, you're invited.
I also think I'm getting my braces off that morning. That would possibly be the most amazing birthday present ever.
Speaking of birthday presents... I'm totally obsessed with the iPod nano... obsessed. In love. Getting one for my birthday. w00t. :DDD

Saturday was weird. After school is weird. The whole free time concept is freaking me out. Plus, I want my DVD to come now. I miss band so much. I miss seeing everyone, besides my close friends, all the time. I miss suffering through the cold and the fatigue and my finger falling off. I miss learning new drill every day. I miss making fun of Vetter's grammar. I miss telling everyone to smile.

I'm going to go do the immense amount of homework that I have have haveee to get done. I actually can accomplish things when I come home after school, it's nice.

amazing much?

hi, my rifle's slightly crooked. standing next to alli makes a girl look so bad.

awww <3

hehe.

i think i'm trying to fly.
that might be easier without the lollipop.

done. :)

i will sell my soul for something pure and true

2005-11-18T06:18:32Z

Hi, it's 1 in the morning. I have to be awake in 5 hours. I have hours of homework ahead of me. Plus, I feel obligated to watch PoA since tomorrow... or later today, rather... is what I've been waiting for since that day I sat in a theatre making fun of Daniel Radcliffe's acting skills and doubling over in laughter as Camille stood up mid-movie, stuck her wand out, and screamed "Expecto Patronum". Goodtimes. So I'm not sleeping tonight.

I've been waking up SO late alll week.. I've been missing AP Spanish for days. Missed a few BritLit classes as well. I know it's cause I'm sick, but when I'm awake for an hour I feel better. So I wish I'd just wake up. Hates.

Today was the colorguard end-of-season party. We're so cute. Monica baked me a cake because I caught my double... I'm so lucky to have such amazing people in my life. Who does that? So I found a bag of forks and within 3 minutes the cake was gone. We're fat. We ate even more than that, watched Mrs. Ray's videos from her years in the band, and did our senior circle.. fighting back tears, all the while not realizing that we'll see each other tomorrow.. and the day after that.. but I guess it's not the same.

Vetter made Liz leave today... I admire her and Susan so much for what they did... I know how much senior reflections meant to Susan, and who would have thought he wouldn't pick her? ... and even though I agreed with it completely, I understand why he's angry. But not letting her stay today? This reunion fake-practice thing is a colorguard tradition, it means so much to us. It felt empty without her there, not just because she's our captain but because she's Liz and her personality is such an integral part of the guard... it really wasn't fair not to let her stay. There's a difference between discipline and childish revenge. Wow, you got her back for sharing her reflection time with her best friend and making you look stupid... you made two girls cry. Do you feel better about yourself now? Ugh.

SNL started and I'm so jealous I haven't been there yet. After the play this weekend, I'm all up in that. I can't wait.

Two months today.. :D It totally feels like longer... not longer like 75 years, even though we sit around in blankets watching the same TV shows together every night and I have gray hair and he falls asleep before 9... but longer than 2 months. I guess it kinda has been, we were just in denial. We're silly.

Our triple date [+Devon] tomorrow will be cute... I've only heard awesome things about the movie thus far... I know I'm going to love it.

10 days. 22 hours. 45 minutes. w00t.

I'm going upstairs now. K. I have pictures to post, but I'm not in the mood.

I still need a senior quote.